


The Book of Lies

by Eowyn (eowynsmusings)



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Humour, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-01
Updated: 2013-05-01
Packaged: 2017-12-10 02:46:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/780877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eowynsmusings/pseuds/Eowyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>There and Back Again</i> is Bilbo's tale of his adventures. But is it really? Maybe the truth is hidden somewhere between the lines and maybe there is a reason why Bilbo changed certain aspects the way he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Book of Lies

**Author's Note:**

> This came into being after a friend of mine and I discussed the fact that for me, the heirs of Durin do not die in the Battle of Five Armies...and he pointed out that Bilbo's book says they do. So I came up with this explanation why Bilbo may have changed a few things ;)  
>   
>  **Disclaimer:** All Tolkien Legendarium characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. No profit is being made, no copyright infringement is intended.  
>   
>  **Beta:** Beta'ed by Undomiel_48 as per usual.

Bilbo Baggins of Bag End had left the world of adventures behind the day he returned to his hobbit hole to find it ransacked by his _beloved_ relatives. After assuring a glaring Lobelia that he, in fact, was not dead, and kicking them out, he closed the door and hoped it would not only shut out the night air but also his memories. It didn't work. Despite his best efforts. Valar, he had even left that very nifty magic ring of his in Rivendell on his way back to the Shire! And his _letter-opener_ and the Mithril shirt. But no...he couldn't forget. Couldn't forget those blue eyes filled with rage and anger and...  
  
So after a year of misery, he did what any good son of Belladonna Baggins ne Took would have done. He followed his mother's advice..."If you cannot forget something, Bilbo, take pen and paper and write it down. It'll help you." Alright, so she had spoken of the time he had met a group of wood-elves near Woodend and his subsequent daydreaming, but that was beside the point. Surely it would work in this case as well. And by the time _There and Back Again_ was finished, he felt better. Somewhat. Until, on a warm summer's evening, his doorbell rang just as he was about to sit down to enjoy his dinner...  
  
It was five years after the death of Thorin Oakenshield and his nephews... _Their deaths, huh? And how, pray tell, are these dead dwarves still sending you letters? They truly must be creatures of legend to accomplish such a feat._ Oh shut up! _And why should I? Just because you wrote it in your Book of Lies doesn't mean it's true! To skip certain things that happened between you and Thorin on the journey is one thing, but to kill him off because that makes things easier for you...that's quite another._ Stupid, stupid voice of reason. Why wouldn't it shut up?! _Because you seem to live in your little dream world and not reality. In the real world there are letters stacked up in your study and..._  
  
Yes...the letters. The first one had arrived a month after he himself had returned to the Shire, and it had somewhat soothed Bilbo's broken heart. Somewhat... 'I, Thorin II Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain, hereby lift the banishment of Master Bilbo Baggins of Bag End.' At least Thorin had realised his folly. Good on him. But it still didn't change the fact that he had chosen a _stone_ over Bilbo.  
  
More letters followed, from all members of the Company, asking Bilbo to return to Erebor. After a few months, he didn't open them any longer. Except for Thorin's. And if his book was a good way to pretend that the last words they had spoken had been of forgiveness and something akin to love...or friendship as it were...and that the pain in Bilbo's chest was grief for the three heirs of Durin, Thorin's letters ripped him out of that fantasy as surely as Thorin had torn Bilbo from his nice and cosy hobbit hole all those years ago. But he couldn't stop himself from opening them. Until the latest one arrived...  
  
Where before Thorin had simply asked Bilbo to return to the mountain, he had been all but begging. The great Thorin Oakenshield was begging a simple hobbit... 'Know this, my dearest hobbit, not a day goes by that I don't regret my actions, that I don't miss you. What good are all the riches I once thought I desired if I cannot share them with you? Please, Bilbo, please return to me.' Those words had ripped out Bilbo's heart and left him bleeding. And so he did the only thing he could...he replied. For the first time, he sent back a message...and if Thorin didn't get it this time, then he never would.  
  
He sent a copy of his book. A book that didn't speak of tender kisses and unimaginable pleasures, of braids and beads given and received and a love Bilbo had thought would last all the lifetimes of the world. A book that didn't acknowledge the fact that Thorin _had_ acquiesced to the exchange, that he had grudgingly exchanged Bilbo's share of the treasure...and more...with the Arkenstone, thus preventing a battle between dwarves, elves and men. However, the battle did take place, that wasn't the lie. _No, it's the outcome that is!_ It was true that Thorin, Fíli and Kíli had been wounded, but Bilbo had made sure they would live before leaving Erebor. Without speaking to Thorin. In his book, he had forgiven the dwarf, but in reality...  
  
When Thorin read the book he would see that to Bilbo, at least, he was dead. But that he had the forgiveness he so desperately needed. Surely then he would be able to go on with his life and leave the hobbit alone. Only that wasn't what happened.  
  
For when Bilbo opened the door that warm evening, it was once again Dwalin who stood on his porch. Glaring at the hobbit. This time, there was no introduction, no 'at your service'. The big dwarf simply pushed past Bilbo and made a beeline for the pantry. Oh joy. Bilbo shut the door with a sigh, though he needn't have bothered. Just five minutes later, the bell rang again, and the door opened on a fuming Balin.  
  
"What were you thinking, laddie?" was the only thing the old dwarf said before joining his brother. "Have you spoken to him?" Dwalin shook his head and Balin added, "I think that's a wise idea, else there'll be bloodshed before he gets here, and if someone has the right to tear Bilbo to shreds, it's him."  
  
"Does he truly wish to go through with this?" the warrior asked, and Balin shrugged.  
  
"There was no way to talk him out of it. Though considering all the facts, it might be the only way to get through to our clearly brain-damaged burglar." Balin gave Bilbo such a glare then that the hobbit nearly jumped out of his skin. Luckily he was saved by the doorbell. Or at least he thought it was lucky until he opened the door...  
  
"Why are we dead in your book?!" Kíli all but shouted at the hobbit. "For five years we have pleaded with you to return to us, and the first thing you send to us is... _that_! By Durin's beard, Bilbo, have you any idea what that did to our uncle?! To the dwarf you once professed to love? And you better still do if you know what's right for you!" He turned to his brother then who had been glowering at Bilbo the whole time. "Didn't I say we should have gone ages ago? Didn't I?"  
  
"You know we couldn't just off and leave, Kee. Things have only just settled down and people won't think Dáin is trying to take over..." They brushed past Bilbo and continued what seemed like an old argument in the living room. And Bilbo slumped against the opened door, sank down and sat there, his head resting against his knees. _I think your little gift wasn't received so well..._ Oh shut up!  
  
Moments later the rest of the Company showed up and let themselves in, sparing Bilbo little more than a glance. It was Kíli who eventually returned to Bilbo's side and pulled him up. "Whatever it is you think you're doing, it's stopping, right now. I understand that you're hurt, you have every right to be, but at least give him a chance...give all of us a chance." Hugging Bilbo tightly, the young dwarf shut the door with his heel. "And before you get any ideas, we're not leaving without you. So you either get used to the fact that there'll be thirteen dwarves sharing your little hobbit hole, or you start packing."  
  
Bilbo felt like crying. Not only because, yes, he had missed the lot of them, but also because his world of lies came crumbling down and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Reality was crushing him, the reality that the Company and especially the young heirs had missed him just as much as he had missed them, and the part of him that had been clinging to his made-up world was now holding on to Kíli for dear life. Because he wasn't dead. He was real and alive and...so was Thorin. And for a moment Bilbo couldn't recall why he had so stubbornly ignored the king's requests...  
  
The door shook at the knock Bilbo had known would come eventually. He shivered in Kíli's embrace and the young dwarf whispered, "Don't worry. The gold has no hold over him anymore. Only one thing does..." He withdrew his arms then and stepped back, winking. "But if you don't open the door soon, I think he may just tear it down." With that he turned and joined the rest of the dwarves in the dining room. Oh good, they were pillaging the pantry again.  
  
Bilbo's hand was shaking as he turned the doorknob and then the door opened and his eyes were immediately drawn to those blue pools that once again held anger and rage. "So that's it, is it, Master Baggins? I'm dead to you? Well, we shall see about that." Oh dear, hadn't Kíli said he shouldn't worry? If this was something not to worry about, then what was? Thorin stepped around him and into the living room and Bilbo could do nothing but close the door and follow him. And as Thorin undid the clasps of his cloak and a travelling outfit not so dissimilar from the one he had worn five years ago was revealed, Bilbo allowed himself to study the king.  
  
He was almost completely unchanged. Yes, maybe there was a bit more silver in his dark locks, a few more lines on his brow, but overall he was still the same dwarf Bilbo had fallen for. The same dwarf who had banished him. And he was rounding on the hobbit now, thrusting a bundle at him. "You forgot that in Rivendell." The hobbit didn't have to check to know that it was Sting and the Mithril shirt. He swallowed around the lump in his throat. "Do I mean so little to you now that you would even reject a gift I gave before..."  
  
"Before gold and that stone became more important to you than your _betrothed_?" Thorin visibly flinched and then all the pent-up anger, hurt, heartbreak and pain simply poured out of Bilbo and there was nothing he could do to stop it. "How many times have you told me that what we had was worth more than all the gold in Erebor? How many times did you lie to me?!" A series of gasps could be heard from the direction of the dining room, but Bilbo ignored the noise. "You could barely wait to give Bard whatever gold he desired only to get your precious Arkenstone back! And to get rid of me in the process..."  
  
"Bilbo..."  
  
"No! You wanted my forgiveness for what you did, well, I gave it to you. All I asked in return was to be left alone! But clearly you're too stubborn to see even that! That's what my book was all about... I'm not going to compete with that..."  
  
"Bilbo!" Thorin thundered, holding out a wooden box. And Bilbo knew what its contents would be before Thorin lifted the lid. "You placed it in my tomb with me, and there it was. Entombed with me, just not the way you wrote it. It's the Heart of the Mountain and as such, it doesn't belong with me but with the one person who holds my heart. You can kill me with words, but that won't ever change. I lost my way once, but I will be damned if I do so again. I thought I needed the _King's Jewel_ to rule incontestably, but I was wrong. It is but a cold stone and now it is yours to do with as you deem fit." Bilbo held his breath as Thorin offered the box to him. "Forgive me for not seeing what I had until it was taken from me. For sending you away when every fibre of my being, safe my pride, were screaming at me to pull you close and never let you go."  
  
It was then that Bilbo collapsed...into his favourite armchair. _Are you finally realising what was before you all along? In his letters?_ The hobbit simply nodded to himself. He had wasted so much time being hurt and holding on to that grudge...when it was obvious that Thorin had not only seen and accepted his own folly, but had tried... The last letters, they must have crushed the king's pride, and still he had written them. The tension in the small room was so thick he thought he would be able to cut it with Sting, and silence filled the entire hobbit hole for a minute or two until...  
  
Until Bilbo caught Thorin's eyes again, and it was right there...the heartfelt request not only to be forgiven but to be given a second chance. And with a strangled cry, he launched himself at the dwarf, the box cluttering to the floor and the stone rolling off somewhere. Neither of them cared. What was the Arkenstone to them when they held each other again after so long? Bilbo felt the dwarf nuzzle his hair as he had done so often on their journey, and if they were both drawing in ragged breaths as they tried to fight the tears from falling, so what?  
  
"Well, finally!" Was that Ori's voice? "Nori, pay up!" The past five years truly had changed the formerly so timid dwarf it seemed...  
  
"You said they would kiss before the hour's out, they haven't yet," his brother shot back.  
  
Oh well, that could be arranged. _And I'm sure you're just doing it so Ori wins his bet, right?_ Right. Pulling back slightly, he cupped Thorin's face with his hands and placed his lips against the dwarf's. Who gasped just as Nori was grumbling about _devious hobbits_. But Bilbo couldn't care less. He had been a fool. To think that his _Book of Lies_ could ever make him forget this, the feel of Thorin's lips against his, that precious moment before the dwarf's tongue darted out and the kiss turned from chaste and loving to...something else. _Maybe your mother had something else in mind, huh? Not a book at all but a letter in which you should have..._ Thoughts escaped him as he tangled his fingers in Thorin's hair, pulling the dwarf closer yet.  
  
"Oh, good! Fíli, let's go and check out the pantry some more. I'd like to not get any more scarred than I already am if it's all the same to you." This was followed by a pained yelp and a pouty, "What did I do?"  
  
"You've talked of nothing than getting them back together for...too long, and now you will see it through, no matter the mental scarring, brother!"  
  
Bilbo didn't know if any more was said because the world faded away until there was nothing but Thorin and him, and the dwarf's hands on his hips and something hard pressing into his stomach, something that was most definitely _not_ the hilt of a dagger or sword. And as Bilbo drew back eventually, the need for air overpowering, he smiled at his dwarf before whispering, "I never should have left. At least not without speaking to you. But it was so easy to let the anger and hurt take hold of me, because I'd always feared you would put me aside eventually. After all, I am just a small hobbit..."  
  
"You were my betrothed, Bilbo... I don't know about hobbits, but for dwarves a courtship is not something we enter lightly or without being certain of our feelings." His hands were cupping Bilbo's face then, thumbs stroking the hobbit's cheeks. "I thought my letters would be enough to show you... I should have made the journey a long time ago. It's not too late, is it?"  
  
Bilbo stepped away from Thorin then, but gave him a smile when the dwarf's brow furrowed in confusion. "Just one second..." Then he crouched down on the floor, searching for the stupid gem. "Ah, there you are." Getting back to his feet, Bilbo held out the Arkenstone. "It's the _King's Jewel_ , Thorin, and as such belongs with you. But as you wish me to have it as well, I'm afraid there is but one way..." He lowered his gaze and bit his bottom lip. This had been so much easier in his book. _Because it wasn't really. But this is, this here and now, and you better seize the opportunity or I swear..._ "If you will have me, my King. You were a fool, but I was an even bigger one. And to send the book..."  
  
"Was a wake-up call for all of us. Bilbo..." Thorin suddenly stood right in front of the hobbit again, coaxing his head upwards with a gentle hand under Bilbo's chin. "I've missed you, and not just as my lover, but beyond that, I have missed your counsel. Do you really have to ask if I will have you?" Thorin's eyebrow rose as he continued, "Maybe I was right after all, and you are little more than a grocer..." He smirked, but then frowned as he rummaged through a pocket inside his tunic. But then his face lit up and he held out the... "You also left these behind, Bilbo... Will you allow me?" In his palm lay two beads; their courting beads.  
  
And as they sat, replacing the braids that had been there five years ago, the braids Thorin had removed that dreadful day in a fit of rage, Bilbo could hear a chuckle behind him, "It would seem, brother, that once again I was right and you were wrong. Now be so kind and give me my gold."  
  
Over the past few days, more gold was exchanged among the dwarves, first and foremost the morning after they had all showed up on Bilbo's doorstep. When the hobbit opened the door to his bedroom, he walked straight into an argument between Bofur and Nori, and Bofur rounded on the hobbit as soon as he saw Bilbo. "There he is! Now we will see who is right and who isn't. So Bilbo, this may be a little bit intrusive but... How often did the two of you celebrate your renewed betrothal last night?" Luckily for Bilbo, Thorin had walked up right behind him, as he stumbled backwards at the question.  
  
But unluckily for the hobbit, Thorin was as much a dwarf as Bofur, so he said in a rather nonchalant way, "Only three times, Master Bofur, we ran out of oil." And Bilbo fainted. In front of Thorin and almost all the rest of the Company. Again.  
  
By the time he pulled the door of Bag End shut for what could very well be the last time ever, he had learned to ignore the dwarves for the most part. And as Thorin handed him his book...the book that had started all of this most wonderful madness, Bilbo was only too glad to throw it into the bin beside his door. He was quite ready for another adventure all of a sudden.  
  
And if later on the book was found and published as the _truth_ , the dwarves of Erebor knew what really had happened.  
  
  


FIN.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr... [Eowyn's Musings](http://eowynsmusings.tumblr.com/). I know, the name's a big surprise :P


End file.
